Yet Another Ocean Trip

Recently I returned to the beach to yet again attempt to overcome my fear of floating. All the previous times I went to the beach there were hardly any people there, but this time, it was the classic beach scene: there were the chairs, the umbrellas, the really hot people in swimsuits and the not so hot people in swimsuits, there was the ultra hot sand and the whole time I couldn’t help but think of the famous Calvin and Hobbs strip where Calvin complains the whole time. Being from the land locked state of Kansas, it was quite an experience.

My first thought while in the ocean was that it really wanted to eat me and it was going to the first chance it got. In my mind it was just waiting for the moment when my boyfriend wouldn’t be watching me and then WHAM!! A big wave was going to just appear and swallow me. If that wasn’t traumatic enough, my boyfriend insisted that I attempt not only floating, but also body surfing. The whole time, I was frightened. I panicked a lot I think I must have screamed in horror a few times because even though the beach was quite crowed, before too long people gave me LOTS of space. No one was anywhere near us. I have drawn a picture to illustrate, because let’s face it, I laughed later, you should laugh at me too. It’s just really that funny. My boyfriend and I are the yellow dots.

And of course, in true Calvin form, when we had to leave I was very sad. The ocean is so much fun, once you learn that it’s not going to eat you, unless it’s a riptide, in which case, the ocean is angry and you should leave it alone, but on all the other days, it’s really just there to enjoy. Just don’t drink it, it tastes bad and it sucks to wear contacts in the ocean because salt water in the eyes hurts like nothing else, but despite all this, over time, the ocean and I have gone from being mortal enemies to being acquainted with each other. Also, I broke my record, on this day I floated for a whole FIVE seconds. Yes, I was yelling and screeching the whole time and almost forgot how to breathe, but I was quite proud of my accomplishment. However, my boyfriend now thinks that I may be a lost cause and has suggested that should take baby steps maybe I should practice floating in the apartment complex’s pool with a life jacket. Sigh, okay, okay, I know I’m pathetic and he’s for the most part kidding about buying me a life vest…I think…