It’s so strange. I have never had the problem where I felt inadequate and I’m starting to notice what women look like on magazine covers more, which such a bad thing since they touch up every last one, but I can’t seem to stop myself. I’m starting to think I’m fat and while it helps to go to the beach in a bikini and see lots of people who look worse in one than me, by the time I get home, I am all self concisions again. I’m noticing every little imperfection about my body. It’s really starting to freak me out.
It also doesn’t help that I am technically over weight. It’s sad, I know it doesn’t look it, but when you’re a short five feet four inches and have a tiny, small ass frame for a body, you really aren’t suppose to weigh more than about 130 pounds. It’s sad, but it’s the truth. You know what else is weird? While I’m very uncomfortable in my skin right now, I really, really value my health and feel guilty for not wanting to eat well and exercise on a regular basis earlier in my life. “My poor heart,” is what I think to myself. For the last few years it’s been working overtime and I wonder what it would say to me if it could talk.
Because of my whole weight and healthy eating obsession of the moment I have taken more notice to diet and health data that has crossed my path. I’ve concluded that what makes the most sense to me is that everyone is different, so why are people trying to create a one diet fits all kind of program. I know this in recent times has a been a running theme of mine, how it’s very unlikely there is really a universal any way of doing any thing since all people are different, BUT, it’s still true. We are not all meant to eat the same exact diet, eat the same amount of food and exercise the same way. That’s right, there isn’t a one exercise program fits all either.
Being me and accepting me as unique is such hard work. In order to be really successful and happy I’m going to need to take more notes and understand myself better. However, I hardly doubt I’m the only one with this kind of problem. Most people have to deal with this reality as some point in their lives. I also think it’s fairly normal for someone my age too and that thought is really the only thing that is comforting me right. I can’t help but laugh at that fact. Yes, the thought that is providing me the most comfort as I am going through the crisis of trying to discover how to change and personalize my life habits to make ME and only ME happier is that I’m having a life experience and moment of maturity which I have in common with most EVERYONE that walks the planet. Funny how that works, yes?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment