Aww, but I liked my punching bag....

It’s one thing to have internal demons since it can be a private matter, one that you spend a little bit of time on again and again until you can make peace with it. However, when the pain, the sadness and the anger involve experiences that were shared with another it’s so difficult to make peace since to do so often requires understanding what happened and learning what you can from it. That kind of perspective can only really occur with discussion from both (or all) parties. I'm not talking group therapy or anything but rather a way to remind yourself that this so called evil ex friend or significant other is simply a human (just like you, not a devil spawn or anything) that has qualities you greatly dislike or don't function well around or they don't function well around you, or whatever the reason(s).

That kind of analysis, as painfully as it can be, provides a way to assure yourself that you won’t make the same mistakes and while you may have burned a bridge or two, lost some connections with some really fantastic people along your path, you sleep well knowing that you learned what you could, you’re moving on and feel confident that you won’t make the same mistakes and will be able to hold on to the next friend or lover you find in your life.

It’s with this understanding that I have decided that the only people I really, honestly, truly have a hard time finding goodness in are those who refuse to help others with this kind of closure. They cut off contact entirely from people, preventing peace. I know it’s an odd concept and that most would say that closure comes from not communicating, but does it really? It’s only after being apart from someone for a while that you begin to realize that there is so much you did not ask, forgot to say, need to say, wonder about.

Yes, it’s true, when you end a relationship with someone, it’s probably good to have a period where you don’t speak so you can get it through your head that it’s over, at least that type of connection is. However, why don’t people stop, remove the jealously hate stick from their butts and realize how much good could come from some type of contact? Even if there was some kind of issue in regards to pain, why not communicate via email? If you can’t talk to them that day, ignore it, sleep on it, wait a few weeks, and then respond, when you can do so without words of hate and meanness. What harm comes from this exactly? I’m finding out that very little does and I’m sad that I couldn’t keep contact with more people. You’d think with social networking sites it would be easy to reconnect, but alas, I can’t.

I guess for all those unsolvable issues there is chocolate. Yay, chocolate!!