Proclamtion of the Obvious

There was a summer, back in my golden years of a youngster, which I spent, almost in its entirety, playing Sim City 2000 on our super Nintendo system. I rarely left the house. I was determined to build the ultimate city and somehow squeeze half a million people on my city grid. It would probably be an understatement to say that I was obsessed. I finally reached my goal on hot summer afternoon in August, just as the school year was rapidly approaching. I even recall doing a happy dance when that monumental occasion occurred. I spent the next couple of days showing my city off to my parents, my sister. I think I may have even tried to explain its awesomeness to our dogs.

I then began to build another city, partly out of boredom and partly out of habit. Playing that game had simply become what I did in my freedom and during a summer as a child, was most of my time. I had to turn over the gaming system to my younger sister, for reasons my parents could not explain to me in my satisfaction. She taunted me, she rubbed it in my face and in my angry dramatic reply of dissatisfaction I accidently saved my new, pitiful, tiny city over my fantastic mega city. It was gone forever, my entire summer’s worth of work, gone in that very instant. It was very traumatic.

I went back to school a couple weeks later and was miserable. I spent a large part of my day yearning to be outside. I stared repeatedly out of my classroom window and daydreamed of pterodactyls flying by and ripping the roof right off of my classroom so that I could absorb sunshine. At the time, I repeatedly kicked myself in the ass with guilt, telling myself how foolish I had been. How I had wasted the entire summer, but I came to realize later, that I had learned a lot from the experience.

Sadly, I also think that because of that experience I am scared to really fully commit myself to something, even a leisure type hobby. All of my good ideas and energy went into something that I don’t have anymore and even when I did, it wasn’t easily accessible. Part of that is probably because despite how much I keep trying to deny it, I want to be able to see my work and accomplishments in some fashion. I would be much happier building a table than playing a video game. I don’t want to have to turn on a piece of electronic equipment and open a file before I can be proud of my work and my life. I want it out in the open, in plain sight, so I can share my joy and happiness. I’m not suggesting I want people to ask about my work or accomplishments and I never picture it as conversation starting points. It’s just that I want my space, my appearance, my behavior, etc. to all represent me.

Besides, if you only gave the world a chance, you’d see how wonderful it is. Seriously, if you can, you should go outside and look around, cool stuff like this is out there, I promise:

I had to walk on an outdoor trail three times before I saw things this small when I was in Charleston after spending several days inside staring at a computer screen because I was afraid of the Southern heat. Some people are not meant to live indoors CONSTANTLY and I am one of them...are you?