Is Adultness Upon Me

Throughout my young adult life I had to come to terms with the discrepancy that existed between who I thought I would become and who I actually was becoming. In lots of ways I wanted to think I somehow went through life with opened mindedness and good heartedness. That I was a good person and in many a fashion had hardly did no wrong. I wouldn’t necessarily call myself arrogant, just ridiculously optimist.

I’ve learned now, that regardless of whom you are and who you say you are, everyone does in fact have a belief system. Some people line their belief system up nicely with an established religious group or look to their family’s heritage to define it. I find it odd that there are people who fight this. Every atheist I have ever met does indeed have a belief system. It may not involve something called a god, but they do have a way to explain the world around them so that they go through life with some kind of peace and clarity.

I have really struggled the last few years. People always seemed egger to provide advice on to how I should view something. On one hand, it was very flattering. I know that some of those people have a great deal of difficulty share such things and it was brave of them to share them with me. However, on the other hand, such actions resulted in little patience for me. I needed to try things out, live life for a few days with a belief concept and see if it suited me.

I’m finding out that while I’m not as good hearted and opened minded as my five year old self would have liked for me to become, I like to believe that more good comes from than bad. I can make peace with that and feel I have. Granted, sometimes in order to do so, I must end my day with a mug of hot tea.