Monday, January 12, 2009
Friday, October 3, 2008
Thank you, but no thank you to lobsters and clams.
Is it a bad sign I went to the dentist and now have six cavities? I can’t help but wonder if I can add this to kidney stones and conclude that I was not meant for New England cuisine. I don't think that lobsters will mind if I stop eating them, I know it will make the sea gulls happy. Why are those bloody birds so vicious?
Just saying...
If you want to know how bad something is doing, find your idealists, if they are worried, you've got a real problem.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Talkie Talkie
I have never been one to ignore people but for very complicated reasons I isolated myself from people related in some fashion to my husband’s work. In most situations, such a choice would in no way be bad, but since my husband is in the military it had consequences. My last entry involved me ranking for a while about them and their lack of communication. Since that post I’ve come to realize that in the same way that any school is different or any company, the same can be said for different groups within the military, like say the crewmen aboard any given submarine. They each have their own personality as it were.
You’d be amazed at how much insight you loose when you don’t communicate with someone, or in my case, several people for a while. I was taken back by how many negative feelings were just simply tied into the distance and much less into any kind of anger or resentment or disrespect. People can change a hell of a lot, but in some odd way, they don’t really. Part of me wants to say that a person’s personality doesn’t change, but that doesn’t seem correct. I’m not sure, just that it’s silly to be afraid of people simply because you haven’t spoken in a while.
Oddly enough, the same day that I was figuring all this out in my own life I had to deal with this at a completely different angle. Why the heck someone bothers me up here in dear old Maine to ask me how someone is doing is beyond me really, but I guess curiosity always did kill cats at least. I wish I could say that I don’t ever allow my life to influence what I have to say to someone to too much of a degree, but it’s a dangerous land if someone asks me for advice. If it’s someone I know well, encounter frequently, then it’s easy to tailer my advice to their life, but when they are hundreds if not thousands of miles a way, well, lets just say my bag of ideas becomes limited.
It is definitely one of the great downfalls to internet and text messaging. The words can cover that much distance, but the rest has to be filled in by the person reading it. I think in the same way we are drawn to car crashes and burning houses we are drawn towards ideas of dramatic conspiracies. People read words from someone they haven’t spoken to in a while and they fill in the gaps with what they want and don’t take the time to step back and view the communication from some other angle then the way it was initially received. And forget people following up such things with a phone call. Believe me, I do all the time and people rarely return them.
So yes, that is where it stands, I’m not crazy and nor is anyone else. I know, it’s a lame point to a long blog entry, but sometimes I wish for every election sign there was one saying that, then maybe people would begin to believe. Well, okay, there is that one lady from Alaska who seems to think that despite not even knowing where most countries in the world are on a map, she seems to think we should trust her with running the place.
Hopefully, she’ll never have to make a decision on where to send an atomic bomb, she might end up bombing Beijing instead of North Korea and that would be a shame. They just make the place all pretty like with the Olympics and all. But hey, if people really think that the biggest problem facing this country is the Roe versus Wade decision of thirty years ago and not something like education, health care or the economy, then by all means vote for a couple of people who care about your right to let other people choose for you. After all, you have more important things to do and worry about, right?
You’d be amazed at how much insight you loose when you don’t communicate with someone, or in my case, several people for a while. I was taken back by how many negative feelings were just simply tied into the distance and much less into any kind of anger or resentment or disrespect. People can change a hell of a lot, but in some odd way, they don’t really. Part of me wants to say that a person’s personality doesn’t change, but that doesn’t seem correct. I’m not sure, just that it’s silly to be afraid of people simply because you haven’t spoken in a while.
Oddly enough, the same day that I was figuring all this out in my own life I had to deal with this at a completely different angle. Why the heck someone bothers me up here in dear old Maine to ask me how someone is doing is beyond me really, but I guess curiosity always did kill cats at least. I wish I could say that I don’t ever allow my life to influence what I have to say to someone to too much of a degree, but it’s a dangerous land if someone asks me for advice. If it’s someone I know well, encounter frequently, then it’s easy to tailer my advice to their life, but when they are hundreds if not thousands of miles a way, well, lets just say my bag of ideas becomes limited.
It is definitely one of the great downfalls to internet and text messaging. The words can cover that much distance, but the rest has to be filled in by the person reading it. I think in the same way we are drawn to car crashes and burning houses we are drawn towards ideas of dramatic conspiracies. People read words from someone they haven’t spoken to in a while and they fill in the gaps with what they want and don’t take the time to step back and view the communication from some other angle then the way it was initially received. And forget people following up such things with a phone call. Believe me, I do all the time and people rarely return them.
So yes, that is where it stands, I’m not crazy and nor is anyone else. I know, it’s a lame point to a long blog entry, but sometimes I wish for every election sign there was one saying that, then maybe people would begin to believe. Well, okay, there is that one lady from Alaska who seems to think that despite not even knowing where most countries in the world are on a map, she seems to think we should trust her with running the place.
Hopefully, she’ll never have to make a decision on where to send an atomic bomb, she might end up bombing Beijing instead of North Korea and that would be a shame. They just make the place all pretty like with the Olympics and all. But hey, if people really think that the biggest problem facing this country is the Roe versus Wade decision of thirty years ago and not something like education, health care or the economy, then by all means vote for a couple of people who care about your right to let other people choose for you. After all, you have more important things to do and worry about, right?
Friday, September 19, 2008
Send in the clowns...
Why is it such a hard concept for people to grasp that I can only form conclusions with the information I have? Furthermore, if I cannot draw a conclusion that makes sense or at least enough sense so that I can sleep well, then I’m going to ask questions. People seem to question how much I care, if you care, if you truly love, and then you’ll fight to understand. To simply blindly trust anything is very risky and nerve racking and I am one who cannot function for too long without being able to at least trust the important influencers in my life.
I know it’s horrible, but I’m beginning to believe that someone’s behavior away from work does indeed impact their job. I’m also beginning to believe that the longer hours somehow works, the more likely their “true selves” will surface. I’m getting really tired of people just telling me to suck it up and deal with it. It scares me to wits end when people who will be either in charge of my husband’s life and safety or those assisting him have the intelligence of a small mouse, can’t even do something as simple as train new crew members in a timely fashion, discipline those who clearly are self centered pricks and have no concept that their behavior has consequences on those around them and communicate and/or educate those of us on the outside why after such mockery they should be trusted at all.
I guess it’s not enough I can’t sleep at night and wake up to nightmares and am getting increasingly sick. No one gives a damn, I’m just a stupid civilian asking too many questions and apparently it’s stupid to want to trust the military. Even on a basic level of, I’m an American tax payer does this entire circus show irritate me. If congress wasn’t such a mess, I’d attempt to pull a shawshank letter write fest and hope that after a couple of years, someone would finally get the message. Knowing my luck, they won’t and even if they did, it would be too late. They’ll probably have me drugged to the point of stupidity by then so I really will be dumb and happy. They’ll argue some crap like how it’s in the best interest of the whole lot for me to just shut up and if I don’t voluntarily, then they’ll do what’s necessary so I will. I’ll have no choice; I’ll just deal with it. It’s not like I haven’t been transformed into a drug zombie before so people who are by far more important than me could feel better.
I know it’s horrible, but I’m beginning to believe that someone’s behavior away from work does indeed impact their job. I’m also beginning to believe that the longer hours somehow works, the more likely their “true selves” will surface. I’m getting really tired of people just telling me to suck it up and deal with it. It scares me to wits end when people who will be either in charge of my husband’s life and safety or those assisting him have the intelligence of a small mouse, can’t even do something as simple as train new crew members in a timely fashion, discipline those who clearly are self centered pricks and have no concept that their behavior has consequences on those around them and communicate and/or educate those of us on the outside why after such mockery they should be trusted at all.
I guess it’s not enough I can’t sleep at night and wake up to nightmares and am getting increasingly sick. No one gives a damn, I’m just a stupid civilian asking too many questions and apparently it’s stupid to want to trust the military. Even on a basic level of, I’m an American tax payer does this entire circus show irritate me. If congress wasn’t such a mess, I’d attempt to pull a shawshank letter write fest and hope that after a couple of years, someone would finally get the message. Knowing my luck, they won’t and even if they did, it would be too late. They’ll probably have me drugged to the point of stupidity by then so I really will be dumb and happy. They’ll argue some crap like how it’s in the best interest of the whole lot for me to just shut up and if I don’t voluntarily, then they’ll do what’s necessary so I will. I’ll have no choice; I’ll just deal with it. It’s not like I haven’t been transformed into a drug zombie before so people who are by far more important than me could feel better.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Freedom
Sometimes I think people hear the world freedom and think that word and its related concept means just one all encompassing thing. In reality, there are actually several freedoms and sometimes people can pick and choose which one they want. Maybe a better way to look at it is the use the world luxury. America was founded on an idea that each individual not only could, but had a right to, pursue happiness. That idea doesn’t exist and is at this point unrealistic. Who gets to define this happiness? What about the people who are only happy when using an illegal drug or murdering people? Those people do not have the right to pursue happiness. As a country, that was decided. At an extreme, it can be easy, but it’s the middle ground, the gray area that gets people.
I’m watching again the series band of brothers. I don’t know why exactly, but it reminded me of the choices I have made to obtain the little freedoms I have now, or rather, the luxuries I have now. I have the freedom to do so many things. I imagine many people may take them for grated. When I have a bad day, I remind myself I made a choice and because of that choice I have the freedom to do things like choose what food I keep in my kitchen that I share with my husband. I have mornings I skip through songs on my way to work, not listening to any one in its entirety. I have the freedom to do that and it’s wonderful. I don’t know why I didn’t see it this way before. It makes it so much easier to find peace with it all. I conformed, and in return I can go outside for long walks and eat my lunch in the sunshine. The list is so long it will keep me busy for the rest of my life.
I’m watching again the series band of brothers. I don’t know why exactly, but it reminded me of the choices I have made to obtain the little freedoms I have now, or rather, the luxuries I have now. I have the freedom to do so many things. I imagine many people may take them for grated. When I have a bad day, I remind myself I made a choice and because of that choice I have the freedom to do things like choose what food I keep in my kitchen that I share with my husband. I have mornings I skip through songs on my way to work, not listening to any one in its entirety. I have the freedom to do that and it’s wonderful. I don’t know why I didn’t see it this way before. It makes it so much easier to find peace with it all. I conformed, and in return I can go outside for long walks and eat my lunch in the sunshine. The list is so long it will keep me busy for the rest of my life.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Life is good, Life is great, Life is unbelievable...
Wow. It’s been a long time. I know, I’m turning into one of those people who claim they don’t have time to do things, but in actually just suck at time management. I hate those people; I need to stop becoming one! Anyway, as usual, my life is anything but boring. I think if I actually had a normal, boring day or week or whatever, my soul may shrink a little.
Being married to the navy is definitely interesting. I moved up here thinking that I could count on the other families attached to the same boat as my husband, but boy was I wrong! It’s a real shame too. I wanted to view them as a kind of extended family, but sadly, events have made that ever so impossible. It’s on one hand, and quite possible half of the other, my fault. I simply lack the maturity to deal with a lot of the drama.
Basically, in short, I believe my husband is getting shafted by the navy and its accompanying politics while other members of the same boat are getting rewarded despite bad attitudes and poor conduct. I’m sure everyone has their complaints, but he has every reason to come home, open a window and cry out: “I’m mad as hell and I can’t take it any more.” However, he keeps going like an energizer battery and gives life lots of passion each and every day. I have no idea how he comes home from work and still smiles. If I had to be at work by 6am Wednesday and didn’t return home until 4pm Thursday only to go back and work 6pm to 8pm that very evening, I think I would invest in a punching bag at least.
On top of that kind of work ethic, he also doesn’t complain or bad mouth people. I know that what I just said should be a given, but you’d be surprise in this whole navy world I’m in. One would think they navy would reward such good behavior, and they may from time to time, but for some odd reason, at the same time, the government acts like it doesn’t have to honor contracts. Strangely enough, I’m getting shafted in the same way in my work world. Funny, isn’t it?
I am (or was) under a five month contract, which expired recently, and yet I can still show up to work and get paid. Oddly, somewhere, someone knows what’s going on with that, I hope they don’t fire me. Hopefully, a couple of elves got together in a back room and signed me on for five more months. However, maybe the fact I am not suppose to go from a temp contract to permanency without fulfilling training and getting up to speed on production requirements is what is slowing things. I guess that would mean I would actually have to stay at a job long enough to complete training. Now, I’m in a ten week training and right after I complete that, the company will be under the control of new owners which will probably have their own rules for this kind of thing. Meanwhile, I’m pondering why I was moved from a job where I could actually apply my degree to a department that just simply needs half way intelligent people. Maybe I should investigate if the company is owned by squirrels or moose.
Oh yes, and just because god has a sense of humor, as of last week I developed a nice lovely rash that will last any where from six weeks to six months that feels like I hugged an upset porcupine. It has no know cause or cure so I’m sitting through training while trying to ignore the fact I’m pumped up with Benadryl and Claritin. Surprisingly enough, the lack of sleep caused by the itching, did not trigger an episode of my (insert proper terminology here). At least…not yet…knock on wood.
But alas, it’s not all gloomy news! I have discovered the awesomeness of New England in the summer and by golly it is very awesome. I love nature and the outdoors so much and here I can have the ocean and the mountains. Having a camera is great because it forces me to see the world differently and I notice lots of things I think I’d otherwise miss. I still haven’t really made it down to Boston to explore much more than the science museum and aquarium, both which were below my expectations, but I have faith that other things on my list will not disappoint. J
I must depart dear friends, but I hope that all is well and please enjoy life as much as possible. It changes more than seasons.
Being married to the navy is definitely interesting. I moved up here thinking that I could count on the other families attached to the same boat as my husband, but boy was I wrong! It’s a real shame too. I wanted to view them as a kind of extended family, but sadly, events have made that ever so impossible. It’s on one hand, and quite possible half of the other, my fault. I simply lack the maturity to deal with a lot of the drama.
Basically, in short, I believe my husband is getting shafted by the navy and its accompanying politics while other members of the same boat are getting rewarded despite bad attitudes and poor conduct. I’m sure everyone has their complaints, but he has every reason to come home, open a window and cry out: “I’m mad as hell and I can’t take it any more.” However, he keeps going like an energizer battery and gives life lots of passion each and every day. I have no idea how he comes home from work and still smiles. If I had to be at work by 6am Wednesday and didn’t return home until 4pm Thursday only to go back and work 6pm to 8pm that very evening, I think I would invest in a punching bag at least.
On top of that kind of work ethic, he also doesn’t complain or bad mouth people. I know that what I just said should be a given, but you’d be surprise in this whole navy world I’m in. One would think they navy would reward such good behavior, and they may from time to time, but for some odd reason, at the same time, the government acts like it doesn’t have to honor contracts. Strangely enough, I’m getting shafted in the same way in my work world. Funny, isn’t it?
I am (or was) under a five month contract, which expired recently, and yet I can still show up to work and get paid. Oddly, somewhere, someone knows what’s going on with that, I hope they don’t fire me. Hopefully, a couple of elves got together in a back room and signed me on for five more months. However, maybe the fact I am not suppose to go from a temp contract to permanency without fulfilling training and getting up to speed on production requirements is what is slowing things. I guess that would mean I would actually have to stay at a job long enough to complete training. Now, I’m in a ten week training and right after I complete that, the company will be under the control of new owners which will probably have their own rules for this kind of thing. Meanwhile, I’m pondering why I was moved from a job where I could actually apply my degree to a department that just simply needs half way intelligent people. Maybe I should investigate if the company is owned by squirrels or moose.
Oh yes, and just because god has a sense of humor, as of last week I developed a nice lovely rash that will last any where from six weeks to six months that feels like I hugged an upset porcupine. It has no know cause or cure so I’m sitting through training while trying to ignore the fact I’m pumped up with Benadryl and Claritin. Surprisingly enough, the lack of sleep caused by the itching, did not trigger an episode of my (insert proper terminology here). At least…not yet…knock on wood.
But alas, it’s not all gloomy news! I have discovered the awesomeness of New England in the summer and by golly it is very awesome. I love nature and the outdoors so much and here I can have the ocean and the mountains. Having a camera is great because it forces me to see the world differently and I notice lots of things I think I’d otherwise miss. I still haven’t really made it down to Boston to explore much more than the science museum and aquarium, both which were below my expectations, but I have faith that other things on my list will not disappoint. J
I must depart dear friends, but I hope that all is well and please enjoy life as much as possible. It changes more than seasons.
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